Relastionship : Never be guided by Fortune Teller in your relationship

Q: We have known each other for a couple of years. As he works outstation, we get to meet only once a month.

He is not very educated and works in his family’s vegetables farm. My family once commented that I must be so desperate to go out with a man like him. But I like him and he seems serious about me. He had said he will marry me next year.

A few months ago a childhood friend who is a bank manager said he is interested in me. I told him I already have a boyfriend and introduced him a friend of mine. They hit it off straightaway and plan to settle down soon.

I am happy for them.

However, my boyfriend came to know about this and was very angry when he could not contact me because I was busy playing matchmaker.

I explained everything to him. To my utter surprise, he could not take it and refused to talk to me ever since.

I am devastated, to think that I gave up my childhood friend for him. I regret I did not go for him myself.

Because of this, I could not concentrate on my job and as a result was sacked.

I applied for another job but during the interview, the boss said I was too old and rejected me. I just turned 35.

Now I don’t have anything, neither job nor career, nor a prospective husband.

A fortune-teller once told me if I should break off with my boyfriend, there would be no chance of me getting married.

Hopeless

A: While many of us may feel comforted by some knowledge of what the future holds, we should never be guided by a soothsayer’s predictions.

You must forget what the fortune-teller told you. It’s not possible that your boyfriend is your only chance of marriage. Do not believe it. Do not let it influence your future judgment.

From the little you have written about your boyfriend, he comes across as insecure and hotheaded.

It’s now time you reassess your relationship with him objectively.

The bank manager guy probably represents the sort of competition he can never match; educated, qualified and probably with qualities to match your own background and social level.

So, even you told him the truth with the best of intentions, he could not accept that you gave up such a good catch for someone like him.

He has reacted in such a strong and unforgiving manner because of these inferior feelings.

Would you be happy married to such a man who can’t seem to handle his insecurities reasonably?

Let’s say you can get him back and you marry, would marriage cease his fears of not being good enough for you?

Can you be sure that he will never get angry and upset again when in future you happen to meet someone better both in background and qualifications?

Since your family had commented about him, perhaps they also have been giving out unpleasant vibes to make him feel unwelcomed?

Are you pretty sure that he is the only man for you because the fortune-teller said so?

If you marry him you have to make sure that you can be exceptionally patient and willing to pander to his insecurities. It means a lot of hard work and compromise.

Of course, as it is you can give him the benefit of the doubt. Make a last ditch effort by insisting on meeting him again to patch things up.

He may just be hurt and waiting to be placated and appeased.

But if you still have doubts about him, don’t make the effort. Instead, look at some other recourse.

To keep yourself busy and occupied, get a job. When once you don’t succeed, try again until you do. There are many organizations in a desperate need for support staff.

Just as you should not believe you will never marry if you lose your boyfriend, you ought not to believe that you are too old to start again.

Meeting new colleagues, new people and moving in different circles also allows you more chances of meeting other men. Well, there are just many single men around.

Never ever leave your fate and destiny to the words of others. Your future lies in your own hands, in your own courage to fight for what you want. Reset the direction for your future, if this boyfriend of yours is not for you.

Source : New Sabah Times